A New Me...

It has been ages since i wrote anything in this blog of mine!!
And during that time i have faced a lot of challenges and changes...
Not to mention the hardships ...

I thanked it all to Allah and my wonderful children for being with me...
It was not easy and am really grateful and happy that i weathered the changes!!!

Things are not like it used to be, but i have learned a lot and has taught me to learn to be strong and to face the challenges with faith to Allah!!

Now I am able to smile and to take things as it is...
I do not know what my future holds and i believe now that everything happens for a reason...
To learn to accept and to make the best out of my life...

Who knows what my life would be in future, but i cherish my days now especially with my children...
Never giving up on me ...forever loving and having faith in me...
Thank you Diyana,Shiema,Ikhmal and Amira...
I love u all...

I am only a Mother...

I am there for u from day 1 and will be there till the day i die...
Sigh....
When u need me, when u hurt and when u cry...
The first steps u made  or even a single tear that drops from your face...
I was there and will always be...

But,
Now ....???

Do u need me there now???
Guess...not,

Sigh....
I have done all i could ... for U to be U, alhamdulillah.!!!

I Wish...

I wish for a thousand wish...
To forget everything and move on...
I wish i there is no memory at all about 'it'!!!

BUT....each time there will be reminders that will bring me back!!!
The connection to the past will still cling on to the day i die...

It is not hatred, just disgust to be connected to someone who has no value of what has been!!!!
For that memory ....is not worthy of my thoughts!!!!

May Allah....grants my wish, insyallah!!  

Hurt again...

Tak habis-habis ada je yang menyakitkan hati...
Ibu tua ni, keep on giving and giving, but do they care...
Ada kot, kasih pada ibu tapi tak tahu yang apa dia buat menggoreskan hati si tua ini!!!

Ye lah...apa lagi guna nya ibu, melainkan to raise u guys until dh besar panjang...
Free to think & do what u like...
Asal u happy dah le kan...

Ku luahkan hati kecewa ini...tiada yg memahami betapa terluka nya hati ini oleh anak ku sendiri...
X pelah , hati dah penat terluka dan tergores lagi dan lagi...
Rasa nak lari....lupakan segala kesedihan..

Tapi,
Ibu mana yang sanggup tinggalkan semua, walau betapa lukanya hati ini!!!!

Never Forgive, Never Forget...

This is what my 'dear' wrote ...
Made me think and ponder, he may be right,
But, I have forgiven for I do not wish to harbour hatred in my heart...
It is for me to move on,
Why should i let hatred govern my life...

Forgetting...not likely!!!
Too much  has happened and I am what I am now becus of it all!!!
Regretting...yes!!!
For giving my all and in return for the suffering I am facing now!!!

No ill feeling anymore and have forgiven...cus' am too tired to even care...
Pity is all that is left...for the stupidity of man in the name of love willing to forsake a marriage !!!

Now,
Taking one day at a time ...once in a while looking back for the mistake i had made..
Not hating, yet never forgetting...

Reminding me each day !!!!
A way for me to move on, to be wary and not to do the same mistake again!!!

Bored...

Am beginning to get bored with the job i'm doing now..:((
It's becoming routine, the excitement and challenge is gone...
Have to change mode...think it as my ricebowl!!!

Like being active, but age is catching up..
Guess, i have to accept and try to slow down my pace...
trying to do more, when body does not permit it...

Sigh....

Rugi...

Di awal pagi ini hanya satu yang bermain di fikiranku...
Rugi...
Segalanya di sia-siakan begitu saja..

No point reminiscing...
Had u given the chance, it would have been good...

I am not the one to give up..
But, when there is nothing left for me..
What else could i do...but to give in.,

After all it was your wish to destroy the years we built...
When u gave up on 'us' ...that was the time for me to let go...